Baby?

I’m not the type of person that gets excited about pregnancies... or engagements... or weddings.

“Oh, you’re pregnant... um cool...” I would attempt to insert an “excited congrats” smile after saying this, but it’s most likely fake.

“You’re engaged! Oh that’s SUPER!” Here I would insert a hug and a smile but inside I’m really thinking, “You are fucking crazy!” WHY? Because I know very well, not too far down the road, that I will be saying, “YAY! You’re divorced now! That’s SUPER!”

I receive a wedding invitation in the mail; I’ll stare at it with a blank look on my face. “Oh yay... I have to dress up. That’s just super awesome.” (Don’t even get me started about the excitement I ooze being asked to be a bridesmaid. *blink blink*) (ps. I have had a lot of fun at weddings and weddings can be a lot of fun. If I could wear jeans and a hoddie - or atleast a dress with COMFY shoes. I would have even more fun!)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some big chubby poopy stick in the mud. I bleed fun and radness! I am a very happy smiley girl... I’m just REALISTIC. Kids cost money, they make you insane, age faster and in most cases, make you and keep you fat. Same applies to husbands.

No. Thanks.

I DO get excited, I really do! (See what I did there. That was excitment.) As previously stated, I ain’t no stick in the mud! I get excited about lotsa' stuff. New cars, vacations, new hair, losing weight, keeping weight off, dentist-cleaned teeth, antibacterial hand sanitizer, new hoodies, new shoes. I'm excited about the fact that I don't have kids - this is the most exciting actually. I get excited when I get to go to sleep. Sleep is fucking amazing. Sleep wouldn’t happen if I had a kid or had to share a bed with a man that wiggles or snores or kicks or just breathes.

I got a kick out of these following links:
Reasons for not having kids & More reasons!
(Phht, as if I needed more reasons)

Can you feel that? Taste it? Know what that is? Mmm... it's F R E E D O M!

I kinda know that this blog isn't going to go over well with some people... but like, whatever.

i r fally, hear me rawr!
(...and I can RAWR! as loud as I want to because I don’t have a baby/kid sleeping and I don’t have a husband that will tell me to shut up.)