My Favorite Elderly

While making several trips this past year to see my grandparents in Ottawa, these are some observations and funny points that I've noted.  

So basically, when visiting The elderly, you end repeating yourself 2-3 times... EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. you talk. Just need to be louder and talk slower with each repeat. This is my fault though. I should really know better.

My Poppa on my relationship status (which had been status: SINGLE for many years): (paraphrasing because I was laughing and driving so I couldn't record or take notes) "There is no problem staying single, but you have to look out for your future. You need to find an old guy with lots of money and then when he dies off in a few years, you'll be set..." #RelationshipGoals

Nanny: *Gasp* "I have a colonoscopy soon. I will be all pooped out." 

Nanny logic:

My great Uncle Bob gave me some syrup he made. It's in a large bottle, too big for carry-on when flying home. I generally don't check my bag and have a carry on only. Nanny gets out a piece of paper and tape and handwrites a note on it "Maple Syrup 2016". She's now convicted I'll be able to bring it through security even though it's over the 100ml limit.

After Nanny and I got home from the salon:

Nan: Recalling the visit, with a surprised look on her face "... that man went into the waxing area!"

Me: "Yes. He got his brows waxed..."

Nan: "Oh I thought maybe he got his balls waxed."

Me: 😳... 😂😂😂 baaahahah!

Nanny and I were at the pharmacy, she points to a bunch of boxes, asking what they were... "Those are condoms Nan..." "Oh! Haha! *embarassed*... I never used them." What a different time eh? 

Nanny removed sandals... Horrible smell occurs. She's still trying to convince Poppa and I that it is a smell from outside. It's not. It's really not... Dear god woman!

When you're old, farting and burping is fair game at any time. It's like you're a baby all over again... you're an old geezer now, it's acceptable to just let 'er rip whenever. Ya know, cuz you're all old and shit. It's like a free pass. Alrighty then. 

After watching a Cialis commercial, poppa joked around and told us about a game nanny and him play... Where they hold it up and see what way it falls. I laughed and laughed. Then stopped because I didn't want to think about that anymore. Eeek.

Love them to bits. Wished they lived closer. ❤️

Sunwing + Mexico Travel Hell

My afternoon, trying to get home from Cancun Mexico:

Immigration, coming into Mexico, didn't give me the one half of my immigration form so I needed to pay $30USD for a dude in a sketchy back corner office to give me a new one to fill out and stamp it in all of 3 minutes. Money grab much?

I get to the ticket counter to check in and check my bag... Sunwing tells me that I don't have a ticket/reservation on the flight. Takes them 10 minutes to find me. How is that?

They refuse to let me upgrade to Elite because I was sure my bag was over weight. I was going to pay for it! I wasn't asking any favors! (I was told at the resort that I could do it at the airport) Some bullshit about 24 hours and the weight of my bag. Whatever. I pay $78USD for my 2lbs over. 

Waiting to board the flight, Sunwing personnel call me up to the front desk, "Faloony Horny" while laughing into the mic (I laughed too but I'm mad so don't tell them that). They tell me that, because I bought my ticket today, (Huh??? What? No I didn't. Been booked for months.) that they don't have food for me on this flight and I'll have to buy food at the airport before we take off. I show them my documentation to prove this isn't true. 10 minutes go by and they tell me never mind. I guess food magically appeared... I probably won't eat it anyways, but it's just the principal of it all. Assholes. 

Still waiting to board... Watch, I'm going to be sat beside a stinky person or a crying baby... Or because of my awesome poopy afternoon, maybe the gods are looking down on me and I'll be seated next to the love of my life! Haaaa! 

Patience. Patience. Patience. 

Things could be worse. Right? Right. 

Okay, I've boarded:

I was seated beside two sweet grandparents, across the isle to their unsettled, already bawling grandchild. Hahaaaaaa ya just gotta laugh. When I checked in, they changed my seat from having my own row to being squished into a "window seat" with no window. I got wall. Great view. 

What in the fuck. Karma is coming back at me or something. Le sigh. 

Shitty end to a pretty great trip... I'll take it though.