Will it ever end?

An amazing 435 people have read my original post about my ex and my horror travels. 435 people whom I hope took something away from it.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, read this:
http://fallyz.blogspot.ca/2013/01/many-people-have-asked-me-what-happen.html?m=1

And read this before continuing:
http://fallyz.blogspot.ca/2013/01/the-nightmare-isn-over.html?m=1

What's up now?

"James" continues to call, leave nasty voicemails, horrible text messages and just as bad emails.

I am getting more and more scared and worried for my safety, as well as the safety of my roommates. What a horrible situation for everyone! I feel really bad that they have to go through this because of ME and my poor choices.

On Thursday morning, I went to get a Peace Bond or Restraining Order... However there was no judge in that day, as there is only usually judges at the court house on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays. I expressed how important it was, the clerk informed me that there was nothing that could be done. Ok, well great, that's just wonderful. That night, I spent the evening in the city, hanging with Miss Nina Wynne. "James" had went to my house and didn't see my Jeep there, which made him extremely mad, leaving voicemail after voicemail (16 to be exact) saying I was out getting fucked, cheating on him, I can't answer the phone because I had a cock in my mouth... ect ect. Lovely.

The next day (Friday), the harassment continued and continued to get worse. Again, I went to the police station and wrote another statement, keep that paper trail going. This time I spoke to an officer. That's when I shared the voicemails and showed the officer the texts. Realizing that the situation is escalating, this officer finally did something! Thank god! There is enough evidence of harassment to warrant an arrest... However nothing will happen until Monday/Tuesday.

Last night he threatened to post/email/share a little sex video we had made and photos of me that he had, if I didn't apologize to him for calling the police. (At this point, all he knew what I have done was just call them when he showed up at my house, I think he figured I wasn't doing more about it or that there was nothing I could do.) He then sent the video and photos to my mom, he posted it on his Google Profile (I actually seen it) and claims he posted it on Facebook. I can't prove this though because I had to block him, but I am sure he did. I notified the police right away. There will be additional charges against him because of this.

I am currently sitting in the Phoenix airport, on my way to San Juan Puerto Rico for a cruise. I feel relieved, so very relieved to be taking a break from this hell. I am trying really hard not to think about what I could possibly come home to, and really enjoy this trip. The police say this time away couldn't have come at a better time. I kinda agree.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Nightmare Continues...

An update. This is continued from the previous post...

Thank you everyone. Your comments and messages have warmed my heart. I have a unbelievable support group!

He showed up here last night, even when I told him I would call the police if he did. I didn't answer the door, I didn't see him. I talked to the police for an hour, told them everything. However, it happened in a different country, so there's nothing they can do.... understandable. I didn't want it to even come to this, I wanted him to leave me alone and just go our separate ways.

The cops left and I figured he was going to be arrested... his messages and voicemails would have me to believe he was under the influence... BUT I knew he wasn't arrested because he started texting and calling me again! Despite the cops telling him to leave me alone.

I called the officer I was dealing with right away and told him. He told me that they had no grounds for arrest, the bulk of what happened, happened in another country, he had no alcohol in his system. They don't test for drugs. They let him drive away. Unbelievable. He advised me to get a restraining order in the morning... Start the paper trail.

The ex is now threatening my job. Accusing me of cheating. Accusing me of stealing some of his drugs. Still calling me names and now he's oober pissed I involved the police.

I have looked into blocking him from being able to contact me on my cell all together. Telus has no such thing set up for that. (Rogers did. Man, do I ever miss Rogers now.) They offered to change my phone number for free, I don't want to! I've had this number for years! You would think that the iPhone would have that capability... Nope. An app for that? Not that I can find. However if I had a jailbroken iPhone, BINGO!

People... Fucking screen the people you are going to date. Follow your gut feelings! Listen to that voice in the back of your head! Listen to your friends, they mean well!

I am now heading out to start that wonderful paper trail... This most definitely isn't over yet! What a nightmare!

Think Twice About Your Travel Buddy...

Many people have asked me what happen on the trip I just took to Cancun, many were worried about me, and I've decided to write about it. Maybe make people think twice about WHO they are traveling with. You think you know someone... But you're putting not only your entertainment and livelihood on the line; you're also putting your life on the line... I am sure there have been a few movies made about this stuff, right?

I met "James" (name has been changed) at work and after about 3-4 weeks of talking and getting to know each other, we started dating. Even though I wasn't looking for anything, nor did I want to date someone I worked with... he was pretty persistent. He made me feel special and pretty... like I was the sexiest woman on earth. I quickly learned that he was extremely insecure and jealous. I didn't think it was something I couldn't handle. He told me he didn't drink much and did some drugs socially, not a huge issue with me. People that know me, know that I don't touch any kind of drug. I never have.

There was some personality traits and habits about him that raised some red flags. I ignored all the warning signs and my friends cautioning me. There were endless warning signs though, how quickly he would get mad, the verbal abuse, the jealousy, the odd random prodding questions. I wanted to be with him, take the good with the bad. He was a sweetheart most of the time, told me that he knew he would marry me one day and I was exactly who he was looking for.

A few weeks after we started dating he told me he wanted to go on vacation. I love traveling, so of course I was interested. He wanted to pay for the trip, a Christmas present. We started looking online and we found something and booked a few days later. We had only really been dating 3 month when we headed to Cancun…

Almost instantly, as the trip began, he stopped being affectionate. It was upsetting but I wrote it off as his dislike of flying and he was tired. The first night at the resort, we sat on the beach, mostly in silence and started drinking. He would say mean things to me and then in the very next sentence mention how beautiful this place was and how happy he was to be finally out of Canada, as this was his first trip ever out of Canada. Then, he would be an asshole again. I cried most of the time we sat there, he didn't know though, I hid it and it was dark. That night I went to bed alone, I left him on the beach after he said something I didn't like. I don't know what time he came back to the room that night but I woke up to him beside me in the morning. I learnt that he didn't remember much of the night. He blacked out but does remember buying blow off a guy in the bathroom. It just proceeded to get worse and worse after this point...

He quickly found out that you can get any drug you wanted in Mexico and took full advantage of that. He bought blow every day and got a hold of Valium and still took full advantage of the all-inclusive alcohol. He was fucked up all day and even worse at night. I went to bed alone almost every night. I spent several days by myself on the beach. I didn't mind much, as I am kind of a loner as it is, plus I didn't have to be around James or deal with his shit.

I believe he drugged me one night. I blacked out. I remember waking up in the morning and remembering about 30 seconds of to him having sex with me. I was pretty sore down there. He laughed about it, he said I would come in and out of consciousness and I was all freaked out and trying to look behind me to see who was fucking me. I confirmed with him that I wasn't actually conscious and asked why he would do that... He told me it was because he was horny, in a matter-of-fact way. Like he was entitled. Who does that? Where is the joy in it?  I am struggling with this.

I baby sat him when we were together. I guess I'm not that heartless, to just leave him... but I really didn't want anything to do with him. He would consistently say horrible things, tell me to shut up, fuck off… you get the idea. I believe, if I hadn't been there to help him, he would have died. Drown in his own vomit and snot and spit. I have video of him passed out, gasping for air, gagging on his bodily fluids. It's horrendous.

I would ask him why he was doing this. I would ask him to slow down, stop taking so much crap. I told him this wasn't fun for me. He told me to shut the fuck up, he was on vacation, he was at a party resort and he was partying. It was a singles and couples, fun adult only resort... not a get ridiculously obliviated (Obliviated: Combination of obliterate and oblivious. Used to describe an intense state of intoxication.) the whole time. I asked him if he was having a good time, and he told me that it was awesome. Well, I am glad it was good for him. I tried to make him think and I tried reasoning with him… that’s an impossible task when someone is in that state. He’s hard to reason with in his normal stat as it is. He got sick of me “whining” and threatened to hit me several times, and would raise his hand to me. I wasn't scared of that fool. I dared him to hit me. He wouldn't have gotten far with that. 

He would come in the room at random points throughout the night and stumble around, mumbling shit. Falling down. Falling off the bed or chair. Imagine how pathetic it is watching a 39 year old man stumble around, mumbling, popping Valium like it is candy and telling me he loves me all while trying to roll up some paper so he can snort blow up his nose. He would whine that he was all congested up because he was constantly snorting that shit up his nose. He then would tell me to go get him some congestion meds.

When he slept, he would snore and cough and gasp for air so loudly and intensely it would keep me awake, even with ear plugs in. The whole bed would shake. Several times I would look at him/check up on him and there would be so much snot congestion, it would be running out of his nose and mouth, he had gobs of blood clotted snot running down his face and all over the bed.

I tried to have dinner with him at a super nice restaurant I booked on the resort and half way through he was passing out at the table. Eyes rolling back into his head. Mumbling and reaching for things. When I asked him "What?", because I couldn't hear him, he screams "SUGAR!" He was looking for sugar? FOR WHAT? He was eating chicken balls. He couldn't even get the food onto the fork or get it to his mouth... most of it was in his lap. I was so embarrassed.

It was FINALLY the last day of the trip. Thank god! He didn't go to sleep until about 6 am, and of course I didn't sleep while he was up stumbling and mumbling around, and I most defiinitely didn't sleep when he passed out because he was gagging, coughing, snoring and snorting so loudly. I tried to wake him for 2 hours. Check out time was 11 am. I couldn't get him to move. He would come to and scream at me to fuck off. I don't know why I didn't just leave him there. I really should have. I managed to get him up but he couldn't walk or talk. He crawled to the bathroom. It took him over an hour to get ready; I ended up leaving him in the room and waiting for him in the lobby.

At the airport he informed me that he had a bunch of cocaine on him - which he had wrapped in 3 condoms that he had tied to his dick! (Not to mention the ton of Valium he had in his checked luggage, among other "goodies".) I flipped out, why would be tell me this!? I didn't want to know! He didn't care for a second that if he got caught with it... I would be an accomplice. I was pissed. I didn't want him near me. I sat somewhere else. Lucky - FOR ME, he didn't get caught in Mexico.

The flight was full, so I had to sit with him. It was horrible, oh big surprise. He got up constantly to go to the bathroom to do a line. He passed out for over an hour. Snoring and snotting everywhere. He was annoying the flight attendants by constantly asking for food because he was "so hungry". He dug his elbow into my side the whole flight. I asked him to stop many times, I was pressed up against the window to keep away from him, my side ached, it was bruised. I wanted to kill him. He wanted to talk about us, and then he would talk about how many chicks he was going to fuck when he got home. I ignored him.

Off the flight I stayed as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, he followed me around. I went through customs. He got through customs after me.

I would have left right then and there at the airport but my Jeep and keys were at his condo. I couldn't run far far away from him just yet.

Once we got back to his condo, I went right for my keys and put them in my pocket. He begged me to stay. I refused. He TOLD me that I was staying, all while he was pre-occupied with all his goodies, laying them out in the kitchen counter. I dumped out all his shit from my luggage and started throwing all my stuff that I had at his place into it. I was there for 5 minutes. I couldn't get out of there fast enough! I got to my Jeep and drove away as quickly as I could. The biggest sigh of relief and happiness and tears exploded from my body.

However it wasn't over yet...
For the last few days he's been calling and texting me constantly. Leaving threatening messages on my voice mail, filling my voice mail box several times with nonsense mumbling, texting ridiculous things to me. He hasn't slowed down with the drugs and drinking and his voice mails and texts are evident of that. He claims he was at the hospital. He wanted me to pick him up. I have not replied to any of his messages until today, telling him to stop messaging me. He hasn't. My next step will be to contact the police. It is not just me that is in danger and that he's threatening, it's also my roommates.

I was VERY lucky that I wasn't horribly harmed by him or his poor choices. Please take my horrible experience and think twice (even three times!) about who you choose to travel with.