Recent events and something I wrote 3 years ago triggered this new update...
It's like people don't think I've thought this through. Really? I've been belittled, I have thought that maybe I am broken. It has been said and implied that I am not a real women because I don't want to procreate. I've been romantically heart broken, and recently a whole bunch of heart ache because I do not want children. You "Baby Power!" peeps really think this hasn't been on my mind? You don't think it's consumed me for days and nights? My brain hurts.
"You'll meet the right guy and you will have children with him."
Yes, there's always that possibility. Though, I recently ended a relationship with a wonderful man because he decided that he wanted kids one day. That was probably one of the hardest things I've had to do. I thought long and hard about this... "Could I have children with this guy?" Perhaps? Maybe several years from now? But that's not fair to either one of us. Especially when having children is obviously, very important to him. Which then leads us to the next dinger of a point that often gets thrown at me...
"Oh, you'll change your mind."
Sure, but let's face it, I'm going to be 31, I am a year and a half into my millwright apprenticeship. It will be another 3-4 years until I am a journeyman. Once I'm a journeyman, I am not just going to stop my career to have kids. I'd like to work, live, love, wtf ever else I want to do. So, if I change my mind now or 5 years from now, all my hard work for... nothing? Not that kids are "nothing" - but, what's the point of doing what I am doing just to quit?
"You can still work and start a family"
Possibly. However, with my career choice, it could be a challenge. If the father wants to be a stay at home daddy, I'd be all for that, I won't mind being the provider. I could get a nanny. I could get a local "normal" job, yup, I could...
This is all besides the point because no baby is going to be coming out of my vagina. Mmmkay.
"Your life has no meaning..."
Sooo... procreating and having children is the meaning to life? Stop the presses! I have the answer to everything right here!
My life has meaning. I work hard, I travel, I see the world, I enjoy life, I help others, I am kind and I am loving, I am a good person.
Nuns, priests, monks, their lives all have meaning and they don't have children. Not by any stretch am comparing myself to them, as their dedication is pretty amazing in itself... Though, um, my life may actually have more meaning because I get to enjoy it a little more, ifyaknowwhatImean *winkwink* hahaha!
"It is different when they are your own kids."
Maybe. But, I for one am not going to go through 9 or so months of pregnancy and child birth just to find out. Thanks.
There are enough parents that should not have had kids. There are many unwanted children born into this world. Why? Perhaps because someone wanted to please another. Maybe they fell into "Well this is what I'm supposed to do" mindset. Or really, just some people shouldn't have kids!
"You're making a big mistake."
Seriously, from the bottom of my heart... Fuck you and fuck off.
"What if you were one of the few women left on earth and it was your duty to repopulate and keep the human population thriving?"
If I could actually bear children, let my ovaries work their magic! Do me!
A snippet from a blog I've read, "Childlessness advocates tell us, in sum, that children require a lot of sacrifices. That’s not news. What may be new is that people now feel confident enough to argue publicly that those sacrifices are too great — in short, that the child is not worth it. I say “may be” new because while the technology has changed over the millennia, the human heart has not. No doubt in every age there were a few who thought children not worth the bother." From fatherdesouza
I find it pretty cool and interesting that National Post had a week-long series on this exact same subject.
I could talk about this topic until I'm blue in the face... Oh wait, I have. Many blue, tear-soaked, lost faces.
I am Fallon. I define myself. I don't let children or anyone define me. I love me, and even with some nasty bumps along the way, I love my life.
