Poo-Fucking-Hoo!

I had an hour to get home, eat, feed and attend to the dog and get to my class.

Just as I was pulling into Spruce Grove Jake calls me, "Rubi shit in her kennel, it's all over the place... on her and all over the kennel. The whole house smells."

Awesome.

My Great Dane is 1.5 years old. She shouldn't be shitting in her kennel.

I get home... Yep, smells horrible, shit everywhere. Rubi looks at me through the bars with her shit smeared puppy eyes. You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! I don't have time for this!

I can't pick her up, she's way too heavy. I manage to get her into my tub with minimal mess. She's pissed! I'm pissed! We are both having a gay ol' time! There was shit literally stuck to her paws and in-between her "toes". There was shit caked on random parts of her fur, neck, face. I have to use a scrubber to de-shit this fuckin' "Great" Dane!

Next step, The Kennel.

Just because my day turned out to be SO awesome, the hose outside decided to be a dick by breaking and spraying all over me, so I had to scrub the poo by hand.

In the meantime, Rubi decided she was going to pee on not one, no, no my friends, that would be too super rad, but TWO of my front door mats.

Awesome. (Yep. I know, this story is heaps of fucking fabulousness.)

As I watched her pee-walk around my mats, I told her just how awesome she was. I'm sure she agrees.

None the less:
Clean dog - Check!
Clean Kennel - Check!
Clean Front Entry Way - Check!
Clean Fally - Check!
Beat the hell out of the stupid dog - Check! Jkjk.
I managed to make it to class JUST in time... Though I was wet, hungry and shitty... Not literally. That'd be gross.

I have no fucking idea how people manage to have children, poo and all, without wanting to strangle them every fucking day. I can hardly handle a DOG that I can just lock up for being bad. Don't add a kid to that equation. Kudos to you muthfukas that stay sane raising a child.

Motto:

No Kidz 4 Life

Peace out, bitches!



As you can see, Miss Princess Rubi McPoopy Magoo is relaxing in her bed like nothing happened.

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