Mary I don’t really want to write this... I’m not even writing this for me or even for you. I’m writing this for Cody as he told me I had to talk to you. I have no burning desire to communicate with you. It kills me to see Cody the way he is. Mary, he’s not the same person he was before he met you. You’ve sucked the life out of that man he's alone and doesn't see the friends he grew up with. I don’t understand how everyone BUT Cody can see that you are manipulative, controlling and damaging.
The reason I’m not talking to you is because when you and Cody broke up you told me that you needed to cut off communication with me. Ok, I respected that. But then you continued to call me several times a day. At that point we are friends on your terms – you could call me at your will but I’m not to communicate with you at mine. What does this sound like to you? AND little did I know... and I realized too late... that you were calling me to gather information on Cody – that’s manipulation at its finest. It FLOORED me when you said that it wasn’t right that he wasn’t hurting enough, he wasn’t showing that he was hurting as much as you... Just so you could hurt him more you manipulated your way back into his life again just to prolong his the agony. Yet YOU told him not to call you, so he didn’t. You didn’t like that either because I guess he was supposed to beg you to love him or something... he didn’t give you enough time, enough opportunity to punish him as much as you wanted – and that really pissed you off. You need some help.
I chose not to talk to you anymore once I figured this all out. Once you death-gripped my brother again, you text me several times which I chose to ignore. I finally replied that I didn’t want to get involved. (You weren’t going to get more info from me) At that time you chose to delete me from your life. Truthfully these have been calm months. I have chosen to keep my comments to myself until recently. I still worried about my brothers well being but I figured in time you would realize what's inevitable.
I’m not sure what you were trying to accomplish on Saturday when you verbally attacked me at Hudson’s. How inappropriate of you... how immature! I didn’t even want you there but I sucked it up and made a bad situation tolerable. I have no intentions of being your friend. You’ve showed me your true colors time and time again. Everyone can see it Mary, everyone. I won’t let you use me or abuse me any longer.
Take a look at your life. You are the common denominator in all your crisis... divorces, friends, problems with your oldest. Is it always someone else’s fault? Someone else’s problem? You say our morals aren’t good enough for you. What about yours? You are dating a man far too young for you – merely twice the age of your oldest child. You moved him in while still married. Jesus, you are on Meds to keep an even keel in life. You left him for days on end with your girls before you really even knew him Mary. You have made Cody deal with one of your X-husbands. You even manipulated him into ripping our mother off for nearly $5000. Because YOU needed the money??? Cody had a responsibility there.
In the car on the way back from Jasper after snowboarding: I have no idea what you guys were arguing about but your fighting technique is impressive. Very manipulative and abusive. The crying and the constant digging. You wouldn’t leave it alone until you forced him to “admit” that he was in the wrong and he had to apologize. Is that a real "win" Mary? I had to sit through hours of it and it was horrible. I can only imagine what every day is like with you. You have no restrictions on your behaviour, no class in dealing with things in private or appropriately. You always want Cody to think that there is something wrong with him.... well Mary, there is something wrong with you and you wag your finger at Cody to camouflage your short comings. You are abusive.
Oh ya, scuba lessons were embarrassing. Everyone there was embarrassed by your behaviour. Even when the instructor tried to shut you down... you just kept on going. In the classroom you were even worse. Is it an attention thing for you Mary? Perhaps you need to look at that. You are old enough to know better. I know mom was mortified as the owner of the place ridiculed her for your performance and told her to get you to “shut the hell up.” How do you think Cody felt when you went on about being a single mom? Well Mary when you were with Cody, you weren’t alone, he was your partner and you made him look worthless. You are very selfish and self serving. I am still ashamed! It was a lot of money to make you part of that Mary... it was worthless and unappreciated. Did you even say thank-you to Mom or Pat?
The few times that I do see my brother you’re constantly calling and I gotta wonder what his days consists of... Can’t you cope on your own? How did you deal with life before he came along???? Leave him the HELL alone when he’s visiting people. Keep your insecurities yours. He doesn’t need to own them for you too. Those who he tries to have a visit with are embarrassed enough for him with your constant badgering. Give him some dignity for God sake.
It saddens me that Cody is so alone. He’s only allowed to hang out with “Mary Approved” friends. It saddens me that we all can’t do the “family thing” anymore because my mother is no longer “Mary Approved”. (and just for the record, Mary isn’t “Family approved”) How do you suppose Cody would have a happy fulfilling life with you if his family can’t be part of it? Is he to sacrifice all this for you? What have you sacrificed Mary?
It also saddens me to no end to see my brother so sad and lifeless. He seems to be scared to even say anything about anything. You’ve made him this way. I’ve said what I’ve wanted to say and I’m prepared for the repercussions. I know that one day, hopefully sooner than later, Cody will realize you’re not the one for him and he is able to move on and I’ll be there for him.
You will probably use this letter to whip him with. Just like you did when Lee spoke his mind after you poked him enough that he responded. What do you expect Mary... that maybe people should allow you abuse them with your tongue and not retaliate. Perhaps that`s what the men in your life tolerate, but people will only put up with you short term. How about you surprise me and keep this email to yourself, appreciate the outside perspective into the way you continually treat people. This is your reality.
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