This misery does not love company...

I've never been good at talking about my feelings or expressing myself verbally. I need to write it down. Expressing myself through writing is my release, it always has been. But, even then, it takes me a while to gather my thoughts and stop my insides from screaming at me.

It's a horrible trait to have actually. I'm sure I could have saved a lot of stress and heart ache if I could just talk about things and figure it out that way. 

My stubborn, quick-to-react, then suffer quietly attitude has gotten the best of me. I'm an emotional person but I swallow a lot of it and tuck it away. I try to be hard as fuck, and strong for everyone around me because, that's who I am and that is who I'm supposed to be. 

"Nope, can't show weakness Fallon. Hold your fucking shit together woman!"

I may throw out a few handfuls of my internal garbage here and there, but I mostly keep it all in. Like having short little pity parties, and then getting the fuck over myself... over... and over again.

I'm not perfect. I say things I don't mean when I'm upset, but I take full responsibility for everything.

Recently, things have been a little harder than usual but I'm handling it the best way that I can... 

This misery does not love company.